1/4 of an Indian chapati

The most dangerous place is in your safety zone

A very correct phrase, that describes a few of my Indian months, has recently occupied my mind.

I could sense how past 4 months of my Hyderabadi life have echoed in me as " I do not want to leave my safety zone... Not now... Later... When I am ready ... " This readiness may have not ever come if one dear friend to me would not ask me the very right question I was in need of. It took me a gigantic portion of courage to confess and get reassured I need to leave my safety zone...

The Choice

Feeling back home... Again

Have never thought this small town - Riga - would be so dear to my heart. Irreplaceable...

Watching the video ( Thanks, Agnesita! ) I have walked the same roads as I did when I lived in Riga - the 21 and 41 bus routes, the silent walks on the bridge, wondering around in the Old Town with the interns, enjoying a bottle of wine in the park, catching some sun tan in Jurmala and loving the scenery behind the train window...

Latvia, Riga I miss you very much. Sometimes even more than my original home - the place where I was born and raised, where I studied and made my first independent steps, where my family lives and waits for me. I feel sparkling knowing that I have at least two homelands in my life. Will my heart stick to India that strong as Kazakhstan and Latvia do? :) ... there is some time I have, to spend in India...

The Matter of Choice

It is not a secret that our thinking is shaped due to environments we live in, the media we choose to read/listen, people we connect ourselves to, etc. The thinking of a humankind is very general, "average", "Excellent but not enough", lazy in a sense it finds itself comfortable with a current state of the world, the society, and the person it belongs to. These are just a few highlights from the recent books I have been reading. The books are globally recognised and based on real business cases, life situations, death-life decisions, somebody's expertise, investigations and their conclusions.

One of the last week's book that I have finished was all about To Do lists. Well, it is not a typical To Do or Must Do List. The book vividly describes the Why we need these lists and How much of value they bring to us. Though the real life examples are comprehensible, I was struck by one paragraph that I immediately related to experiences I have had with different organisations in my past. The author's opinion had also let me understand the behaviours of people I interact with daily.

I would like to share with you the paragraph and if you are experiencing something similar, please let me know. I am all ears as I have a strong yearning to hear how you are dealing with a described situation.

" ... No, the real lesson is that under conditions of true complexity - where the knowledge required exceeds that of any individual and unpredictability reigns - efforts to dictate every step from the centre will fail. People need room to act and adapt. Yet they cannot succeed as isolated individuals, either - that is anarchy. Instead, they require a seemingly contradictory mix of freedom and expectation to coordinate, for example, and also to measure progress toward common goals ... "

Loud Bang!

OK, folks, if there is a will, there is a go, right?

I have a will, and I will make it happen.

Firstly, I am announcing to myself and publicly that starting from today, Nov 2, 2010 life gets easier here for me. In all senses. I myself am closing that circle of negativism and uncertainty I have been living through because of this and that. Quoting a smart girl who recently said to me, I came to enjoy and experience India, and I don't give a s*** about anything else. This is promise # 1.

Secondly, some time ago I have made a short list of 10 goals I will accomplish by Dec 30th, 2010. Thanks to my friend's link to one inspiring blog, I am competing with myself for fun and to occupy my mind with busy-ness, and to drop a few fresh thoughts into a burning pot. These goals are as diverse as possible; I was laughing when I discovered that 2-3 of them have not changed at all since autumn 2009; and believe me, I will achieve at least 80% of them. This is promise # 2.

Thirdly, I am learning again from the scratch what it is to feel happiness. Yes, it has been discovered in small portions here by me. Yes, changeable reality a

nd different standards I have witnessed and adjusted for for the past 3 months are way far from the living standards back home in Kazakhstan and Latvia. Yes, I would easily get weak and frustrated, but who said that Rome was built in a day? So, work, work and work is required from me in huge volumes. This is promise # 3.

Fourthly, back to basics. Big Thanks to my colleagues I am enjoying Toastmasters I used to do in the University; big thanks to a patient guitar teacher when I am loudly strumming the guitar that I took up classes of here, in Hyderabad; a huge respect and acknowledgment to AIESEC members that are actively in touch for any inquiry; a warm Thank you! to the Global Support Team Talent Program, to my team members and to our new value - Activating Randomness :). This is promise # 4.

Last, but not the least, rediscovering the life with its forms and angles, with its smells and touches, with its gentleness and sharpness is going on. It will never stop unless I say so to myself. Therefore, final promise # 5 dated Nov 2- Dec 31st, 2010 is all about Love.

... This maybe scary for somebody to confess publicly about his/her fears. I am eager to take another path: to publicly declare I will do everything possible and impossible to be happy. I am already happy. I did feel it yesterday. I felt it today. I will feel it tomorrow.

My HAPPYness Journey is at its inception!

Love and Patience

Thanks for loving me, it's simply perfect

Boomerang Children

...Baby, you are beautiful, smart, skillful, talented, unique. You are just YOU, so take it as a fact...

Intense, diverse, noisy, travelling, hard ( not challenging ), ridiculous, sleepless, tearful, tiring, careless, helpless, meaningful, learning, calm, "everything-is-gonna-be-alright", silent, talkative, friendly, supportive, back-to-basics days are being walked by me every day here in India.

But everything is gonna be OK in the end. If it is not OK, then it is not the end. Yeah?

What's next?

Urker - Asel,Уркер Асель.

This is how my day starts today :)

Toploader - Dancing in The Moonlight

Briefly: I love my internship experience in India - I love the people that I meet here.

This song is just a summary of this colorful week: Latino parties, joint Kazakh- Latino cooking evenings, tons of laugh and dances in the moonlight, and sunrises in the mornings, and incredibly amazing PEOPLE! Thank you, guys! Thank you, AIESEC!

:)

Divine moment

Understanding of the right place, the right time and the right step in life is a powerful self-motivation for me. It hit me today: I was spending an evening in one of the parks of Hyderabad, I wanted to find a peaceful place and simply enjoy the scenery and harmony. The Lumbini Park next to the Hussain Sagar lake is one of the options, though it is an amusement park and is quite noisy one. My friend and I went by boat to see the statue of Buddha- that statue we heard of and read in online guides a lot.

A grandiose high stone masterpiece welcomed visitors along with a harmonious silent music. The warmest wind and pink purple yellow cloudless sky juiced the divine moment! Throughout the time we spent at the lake, next to the statue, in the park, watching a laser show with a thorough digital history of Hyderabad, listening to Indian music .... ah, I just felt it with all my heart - Hyderabad is my Indian hometown. It is my home for this year, it is my country for this year, and I am responsible for everything that happens to me this year. Let it be the good. Let it be a disappointment. Let it be happiness. Let it be discoveries. A-ha moments. Love. Harmony. Peace.

Thank you my dear friend for reminding simple things that matter.

A Farewell Letter

If for an instant God were to forget that I am rag doll and gifted me with a piece of life,

possibly I wouldn't say all that I think,

but rather I would think of all that I say.

I would value things,

not for their worth but for what they mean.

I would sleep little, dream more,

understanding that for each minute we close our eyes we lose sixty seconds of light.

I would walk when others hold back.

I would wake when others sleep.

I would listen when others talk,

and how I would enjoy a good chocolate ice cream!

If God were to give me a piece of life,

I would dress simply,

throw myself face first into the sun,

baring not only my body but also my soul.

My God, if I had a heart, I would write my hate on ice,

and wait for the sun to show.

Over the stars I would paint with a Van Gogh dream a Benedetti poem,

and a Serrat song would be the serenade I'd offer to the moon.

With my tears I would water roses,

to feel the pain of their thorns,

and the red kiss of their petals.

My God, if I had a piece of life...

I wouldn't let a single day pass without telling the people I love that I love them.

I would convince each woman and each man that they are my favorites,

and I would live in love with love.

I would show men how very wrong they are to think that they cease to be in love when they grow old,

not knowing that they grow old when they cease to love!

To a child I shall give wings,

but I shall let him learn to fly on his own.

I would teach the old that death does not come with old age,

but with forgetting.

So much have I learned from you, oh men...

I have learned that everyone wants to live on the peak of the mountain,

without knowing that real happiness is in how it is scaled.

I have learned that when a newborn child squeezes for the first time with his tiny fist his father's finger,

he has him trapped forever.

I have learned that a man has the right to look down on another only when he has to help the other get to his feet.

From you I have learned so many things,

but in truth they won't be of much use,

for when I keep them within this suitcase,

unhappily shall I be dying.

~GABRIEL GARCIA MARQUEZ~

Love

This word totally describes my state of mind in India right now.

Short. Precise. Rich. Infinite.

Explanation is simple: I feel so much relaxed and calm. Like when you are lazily sleeping on a beach, sipping a fresh fruit cocktail and breathing love that is in the air. Indescribable !

India, India... You are so different. You are so magnificent. You are so warm. You are so sweet. You are so full of love.

One of my dearest moments I encounter often is when I commute by a rickshaw somewhere, and he drives crazily. I am at this moment loving the wind that embraces me, that holds my face and that whispers different stories to me...

I feel so much in love at these moments

Incredible India.

How much is too much?

Quoting

Activating Leadership

We lead by example and inspire leadership through our activities. We take full responsibility for developing the youth leadership potential of our members.

Demonstrating Integrity

We are consistent and transparent in our decisions and actions. We fulfil our commitments and conduct ourselves in a way that is true to our ideals.

Living Diversity

We seek to learn from the different ways of life and opinions represented in our multicultural environment. We respect and actively encourage the contribution of every individual.

Enjoying Participation

We create a dynamic environment created by active and enthusiastic participation of individuals. We enjoy being involved in AIESEC.

Striving for Excellence

We aim to deliver the highest quality performance in everything we do. Through creativity and innovation we seek to continuously improve.

Acting Sustainably

We act in a way that is sustainable for our organisation and society. Our decisions take into account the needs of future generations.

These are our AIESEC values. This is a sort of philosophy we live daily once we get to know AIESEC and it stays in our hearts, in our minds. This is what I have believed in since I joined AIESEC in 2007 in Almaty, Kazakhstan. I have gone through a beautiful profound life experience, made lots of strong friendships with young in mind and brave in heart people from all world regions, travelled to a few countries and lived for less than a year in Latvia. Logically, I decided to continue my AIESEC career aiming higher, I was looking for a professional upgrade, I was looking for challenges, I was looking for another exciting year in my life. You know why? Reasons are multiple. One reason is my beloved one: I want to be a cool grandmother. Yes, yes, the coolest grandmother ever that my grandchildren could have. Future projections.

Now, dreaming is great. My dear friends, dare to dream. Dare and make your dreams come true. It is a wonderful feeling.

However, we are now in present. Therefore, let me talk about what is happening NOW and HERE.

Owing to an international leadership experience back in AIESEC Latvia and in Kazakhstan, I have coordinated a national exchange programme. During our year in Latvia our team made a breakthrough: 40 talented young people caught the right opportunity and experienced Latvian culture as well as brought their innovative approaches in solving vitally importnat issues to the societies of Turkey, Kazakhstan, Bulgaria, Armenia, the Netherlands, Italy, Ukraine, Malaysia, Moldova, Peru, Colombia. This is our main product- AIESEC Experience. This is what we promise to our stakeholders and this what we should deliver. The better the service , the higher customer satisfaction we receive. Right? Or I am wrong?

My long term AIESEC experience showed to me that nothing is impossible. Nothing. You have a goal, you have resources- you will achieve it. You will taste success in the end. Definitely. Do not tell me you cannot make it happen. You just did not try hard enough to make it happen. You do not need to try hard. Play smart and results will come ultimately. Have some patience and have a positive attitude. Easy.

Right, it is easy. However, a disappointing fact ALL AIESEC interns face DAILY here with AIESEC India say it is not that easy.

My point here is simple: AIESEC India "leads" a totally different AIESEC philosophy. Odd AIESEC way.

Reception culture. After painful conversations with many young students that came to India for short term development internships from all over the world to improve illiteracy in outskirts of India or to drive Anti-HIV campaigns, etc I see tears and fears in their eyes. I see uncertainty and non confidence in themselves. After they landed in airports they are not picked up. They are not provided with accommodation at least for the beginning. Or if they are provided with accommodation, then this place may have a room, an AC, and a bathroom. It is an ideal case. I am encountering with these situations daily, in Mumbai and in Hyderabad. I question here the following: if you cannot manage fifty ( 50 ) interns on average in a quarter why do you keep bringing people here?

Legal issues. Management internship with TCS that I am in as well as most of my friends here requires a longer staying in India. Thus, it involves a legal registration of foreigners. While my staying in Mumbai, my friends and I had to CHASE AIESEC Exchange responsible members to assisst us in legal registration. After two weeks of a long procedure we got the stamps and we started working in the company. My question here is - you know your pipeline of incoming interns, you can project how many passports need to be registered, you know what promise you give to your stakeholders. Why do you complicate the processes?

New economy. Labour mobility is widespread nowadays. Though it concerns some governments, labour mobility's core is as old as the world: our ancestors migrated to have a better life, and current world population flows due to the same reasons. State of the art technologies give a room to practise a new economy : business can be done virtually and you do not necessarily need to be present physically in the office. Seems that AIESEC India is very progressive in these terms. Once an intern arrived, AIESEC India members forget about him/her. No or low interaction with him/her, no welcome parties, no cultural activities that build awareness about India, that break people's stereotypes. An intern just adds another number in an Excel sheet. I question a member from AIESEC in India: what reception have you received in another country during your internship ( if you had one ) ? Or what reception would you like to receive once you decide to go for minimum 2 months internship to any part of the world?

People. Eventually, we deal with young people in AIESEC India. An average age of an AIESECer in Western Europe is around 23-25. Our members in AIESEC Latvia and Kazakhstan are 20-25 years old. An executive member of AIESEC Mumbai, India is 17. When you are 17, you most probably care about education, social life, Facebook. A mate of mine has witnessed it in Mumbai: an intern arrived, and a reception coordinator was chatting with him in Facebook. Yes, it is a down to earth example. But we talk about people and their lives. We talk about EXPERIENCES - we just talk and we do not make any right actions.

It is very crucial- at least for my friends and me - to prevent these situations with future interns. A giant work must be done. First, it should be understood by every member of AIESEC India, and it shall be solved by executive members of National Board of AIESEC India. Show your leadership by managing your Numerical Desires in a right way.

I am extremely disappointed I know the answers. I feel ashamed when I see interns' tears and I cannot help. They love India but they hate AIESEC here.

My purpose of this post is not to destroy image of AIESEC in general or AIESEC India in particular. My aim is to give a voice of another numerical result, or a voice of an intern and ASK every single person from AIESEC India - what are you doing to improve your reality? How do you plan to manage your membership and impact young people's lives? What are those stories that we tell ? How will they determine the way we live?

Quality or Quantity

“You are not here to make a living. You are here to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, and with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world. You impoverish yourself if you forget this errand.”

—Former U.S. President Woodrow Wilson

After a brief self analysis of my first 3 weeks here in India I came to a conclusion that I got stuck. Emotional Intelligence- oh yes, a lovely topic to discuss, a heavy weight to carry on your shoulders. Still, I understand I do not score high in EQ ( Emotional Quotinent ) and it is now one of the first priorities in my personal development, a few things practised by many of us here are very ridiculous. Yes, these are my perceptions. Yes, these are frustrations we all go through in life. Yes, life can be paradise or can be hell - in the end we are talking about people's attitudes. In fact, we are talking about responsibility. Self responsibility. Empathy. Self restraint. Relationships. Emotions and perceptions. Optimism and negative attitudes. Life in general and lessons that we take from it.

A few things that I have to deal with since my arrival to India keep upsetting me very very much. These matters are highly important for me as well as for many others being on exchange here.

I just wonder why we, human beings, do not walk the way we talk. I wonder why we prefer Quantity VS Quality. I wonder why material world has a bigger value than our relations and our lives. I wonder...

Along with that, I feel disgusted. I feel dirty. I lose faith. And I refuse to believe. Just refuse.

All these talks we have about leadership become meaningless for me here. I am sorry to say so but it is so at the moment. It does not mean I refuse my past life and my values and my beliefs too. No, no, not at all.

Priorities keep changing, right? Life is a change itself. And as we know, the only constant things in life is change. However, changes may stay unchangeable. A challenge to understand? Well, I see it this way now. I believe this opinion will be substituted by another one. The only thing my mind finds difficult is OverPromises and UnderDeliveries.

Keep walking. Learn. Apply. Enjoy. Life is beautiful.

Mumbai: 2nd week

Adaptation

Life in Mumbai is extreme. It is not bad, not good. It has its own path. It is very hectic, it is insane, it is sweet, it is lovely, it is filthy, it is so much international, it is spicy, it is ... diverse.

Mumbai Diversity - 1. If you happen to be in Mumbai you would probably commute by local train service. There are two classes: first class and second class. The difference is in cost of tickets in 10 times ( e.g. coupons for 2nd class may cost 40Rs, 60Rs or 80Rs = 120KZT, 180KZT, 240KZT or less than $1, 1Euro, $1,5 respectively ; now multiple by 10 and it will be a cost for 1st class ) and in seats. In 2nd class women/men compartments plenty of people can take a seat; in 1st class only 3 people are allowed. Taking a train to get to other parts of Mumbai is like a roller coaster. You get through so many emotional peaks of yours within one- two- three minutes.

In the beginning, I was feeling really uncomfortable commuting by trains here. It is difficult to describe, pictures won't say much and you gotta feel it. However, the situation is not that bad as it seemed to me in the beginning. Later on, I started noticing how women ENJOY trains. It is like a small society for them. Seems as if they can meet each other only on the trains, only during these sweating rush hours they chat as if they won't see each other in this entire world. They chirrup, they laugh, they argue, they live and enjoy their lives within 30-60mins of a trip.

Metric measurement. Guys, tell me something, in your countries, when you want to know where a building is located how do you measure distance? By meters, km, miles I suppose? We, Isnaldo, Elizabeth and I, it shall be like this. On the contrary, in Mumbai we were introduced a new measurement: 5- 10 min walk. Let me give you an example: we are looking for a particular known landmark, and we ask passersby its location, or how far it is, or what direction we shall go to. In reply we hear, " Go straight, then right, then straight and right again. It's not far, jsut 5-10 mins walk" :) Lovely. We got used to it and we reply the same to just arrived interns. Splendid :)

Mumbai Diversity - 2. Walking is one of my hobbies I truly enjoy. Alas, in Mumbai I am getting tired very quickly and walking in the city becomes more of a pain than a pleasure. For instance, due to heavy rains I started to wear yellow rubber boots. Quite comfortable to protect feet from dirt, and at the same time it is a total sauna for my feet. One day, three of us ( Naldo, Liz and I ) had decided to go around Mumbai. We visited the Haji Ali mosque and got totally wet from head to toe passing by the Arabian Sea shore. We then went to Mahalaxmi Temple dedicated to Mahalaxmi goddess, and got wetter. We have also seen the world's largest human machine Dhobi Ghat and got astonished, shocked, thoughtful and wet again. After all these imbalanced pictures and people's various lifestyles we took a taxi to Moshe's and satisfied ourselves with a delicious meal. Meanwhile, we were studying India book and decided to walk to Hanging Gardens or to TATA gardens. According to a map we used, it was not far, just 5-10min walk. So we took a deep breath and marched to the Gardens, also known as Ferozeshah Mehta Gardens. It was raining, of course. So, one of us is sleepy and sips take away coffee, another one whistles different tunes, third one is gazing at traffic and documents everything. On the way we saw the cheapest world's car TATA Nano and of course took a picture! ( We like TATA group too much :) So, after 5-10min walk we saw a park, or better to say an outdoor public area. Curious, we changed our way and we thought it was TATA Garden. In fact, it was Hanging Gardens. And here our astonishment has increased! Mumbai diversity, part 2! We could not believe our eyes such a peaceful clean cozy place could exist in Mumbai! We took lots of pictures, we laughed so loud, we were innocently happy and we did not want to leave the Gardens! Indeed, you never know what happens next. It is so true especially in Mumbai!

Cultural differences. We all have our individual standards we apply towards friendships we make, towards politeness and roughness, towards what's acceptable and what's not in one's society. By growing up, I have been learning and experiencing what it means to be tolerant, what to sacrifice in yourself to be open towards other cultures. Ultimately, what's acceptable in my society may shock a person from Tanzania, let's say. Here, in Mumbai I feel I am asked sometimes too much of being culturally sensitive. I am not saying I feel disgusted, or that I neglect these differences. The matter is in its frequency and weight of this tolerance is sometimes too heavy to carry on shoulders daily. I am grateful I have friends here I could talk to, and I feel relieved. Otherwise, I would go crazy I think. But what I understand is that I want to insist on learning and adjusting myself for Indian diversity, and I will work on myself. If this is one of my weaknesses at the moment, I shall work harder to prevent its further existence.

Locked. During these two weeks many stories happened, many places have been visited, a few parties have been attended, a few tears have been dropped, lots of laughter have been produced. However, only now I realise I could not reflect on what was happening to me every day since July 26 when I landed in Mumbai. The days have been Formula - 1 video clips. We rush, we sprint, we don't have time for 3 meals/day. Our stomachs have shrunk, and we cannot eat more than a meal a day. Otherwise, we feel sick and nauseous. As the result, I cannot recall any day from A to Z. If I had not my camera with me, I don't know what I would do. Memories are blocked as our work accounts used to be. Why is it so? Maybe because so many things happen at a time, and here you really need to react fast to changeable situations?

______________________________________________________________________

Resume

I never was missing my family so desperately as I do now.

Lesson to learn: I should surround myself with things I used to enjoy doing. They will help me. I need to settle down at last. I want to start working. As if I am asked to catch 10 rabbits with 2 hands. Who will win in this case?

Mumbai: Week 1

Survival

Not so long time has passed as I am jotting down a few thoughts after my first week in Mumbai, India.

Briefly about what happened before my rather spontaneous arrival at one of the largest cities in the world: I have simply enjoyed my time home with family, a very short and desirable time, a very miraclous and gorgeous time, the so much needed time with my family and close people. Yes, it's been short- just 2 months to taste "How is it being home?" and jump into a new life journey. An incredible journey, I believe, since India is now promoted as Incredible India and I get reassured by this message daily.

My hometown

You may have noticed this blog post is called Survival. Indeed, my first week in Mumbai has been a survival. Never ever have I witnessed such a tremendous growth and failure of one, never ever have I felt alone and surrounded by people going through the same challenges in their first week here, never ever have I got astonished and shocked simultaneously as it is happening in Mumbai with me. Never say never.

Imagine, you wake up, have breakfast, and getting ready to commute to work. Different countries have different means of transportation and different styles of commuting. I have not had any picture how it may look here though it is not my first time being in India. But now I understand that India is different. Not just diverse. It is different as two sweet similar apples. So if I was shocked by crazy traffic in Jaipur and subway culture in Delhi when I visited India first time a few years ago, I was paralysed by seeing train traffic in Mumbai. It takes me a lot of courage to open up myself and get all my inner strength to get out of my comfort zone. It takes me a lot of patience not to get broken in front of everyone and first of all, in front of myself. It takes me forget the life I used to live before and start absolutely a new life. A blank page.

Emotions. Week 1 gave me an impression I am in a movie. Not a Bollywood movie though. I am an actress. I am being acted upon by circumstances, by weather currents, by someone's laziness and immaturity. I was feeling very stressed, I have never felt so lost, so desperate, so lonely, so frustrated. On my 2nd or 3rd day I was so fed up with these consequences of Survival script that I decided to be a director of Survival series, and make it a sitcom. At least this idea worked out. In the end, regardless of all long awaited actions from the others and an insane traffic, my friends and I could nothing but laugh. Laugh histerically sometimess. We would be damn exhausted but we would keep on laughing. As it was the only remedy and support we could find at any time.

Our 1st morning journey together. Induction. Isnaldo, Elizabeth

Universal Time. Value of time is different everywhere. Moreover, it is different for every individual. I remember I would sometimes go crazy back in Latvian times when I was late for some important things in my life. At home I do not notice how time flows. It is so natural there, as it should be. Here, in Mumbai, my friends and I do not feel or see time at all. We leave our living places at 7.30am and come back home at 12-1 am, exhausted. During a day we can't understand what is going with time! It disappears!

Indian Standard Time ( IST ) However, when it comes to meet with anyone here in Mumbai people act according to IST. I have noticed, it does not matter whether you are local or an expat, everyone has a habit to do business, to meet with friends according to IST- Indian Stretchable Time. Kazakhs are not that progressive as Indians in being "accurate" with IST.

Monsoons. Oh Gosh, another discovery. Have you ever experienced fiercely raining cold water from heavens? Add to this a filthy street water mixed with litter and smog. Do not forget to put some colours of happy Indians being on a train, outside, at booking offices, and finish with colours of confused concerned faces of Westerners. A speechlees picture. Daily.

A photo taken in an autorickshaw

Friends. I am so glad, so glad I have my old friends here. I am so happy I have made new friends here with other interns. It adds super power and days do not seem so lonely.

Nastya, Feras and I

_____________________________________________________________________

Resume

Week 1 has been the bigest emotional challenge so far in my life. I have no feelings towards this condition yet. It does not mean I am afraid of living here or anything like that. It has been really really hard for me, I have not thought it would be that much hard. But I will manage. I will. I am not the first trainee here, nor the last one. Everyone has survived. So have I.

Lesson to learn: Forget your past life. Start an absolutely new one.

Before I take off

So, home in a few hours :)

Mountains' view from a plane, a sleepy Almaty, rising sun, familiar Kazakh and Russian conversations, my blue passport, the best brother, calls and non stop talks about how I feel and if I changed, and many more...

I have not been home for almost a year.

I have a slight idea of what my home is now- I believe my home is where my heart is.

I am amused and pleased to hear my old friends' calls and emails about my return. They are incredible! Yesterday, for instance, I got 2 fantastic gifts from 2 people: a book that I wanted to read long time ago, that projects my favourite field of work I see myself in the future; and a massive external storage for my e-docs/books/etc. Funny to say about these gifts but they are just on time :) Thank you, guys!

Moscow... Indescribable for me at this moment. It is not my first time here though. Is something missing to make a Moscow trip memorable? I have everything here I wish to: my close friend, the sun and beautiful parks, fountains, pancakes with a strawberry jam. There is only one thing that makes me shiver: Moscow subways. First of all, they are the most confusing in comparison to others I've been to ( even St Petersburg metros are simple!). Second and the most overwhelming are images from recent video news on terrorist attacks. It may sound silly but I am having these images in my mind every time I take a metro to go somewhere in Moscow. Lastly, Moscow traffic makes me tremble too! Living for a long time in a quiet small Riga taught me that I can "enjoy" ( so to say ) getting a public transport: when drivers and pedestrians obey the rules, when people do not push each other, and you barely hear a very bad language.

Here I feel as if I am on another planet. I felt it straight away when I arrived a few days ago. But now I am thinking: have I really felt that way or I have just exaggerated a situation? Maybe these emotions come because I did not want to return to my local reality so fast?

I still do not know what I will see in Almaty; however, I know what to expect, and I would be more than happy if I am wrong.

A few additions I would like to document for 2009-2010:

- Best songs for me this year

Muse Undisclosed Desires

David Guetta Delirious

The Fray How To Save A Life , You Found Me

Natalie Imbruglia Counting Down The Days

Snow Patrol Just Say Yes

Nelly Furtado Manos Al Aire

Iron and Wine Cinders and Smoke

Jason Mraz I'm Yours , Lucky

Maroon 5 Nothing Lasts Forever

BEP Bebot

Natasha Bedingfield Pocket Full of Sunshine

John Lennon Love

The String Quartet Tribute- all tunes

Shakira- all songs

Alicia Keys- all songs

Coldplay - all songs

Madonna- all songs

The Beatles - all songs

Spice Girls Viva Forever - a song for all times

( Do not look for a meaning; the tunes are just beautiful, that's why I admire these artists )

The Best Books for me this year

Jim Collins Good To Great

The McKinsey Way

Muhammad Yunus Creating a World Without Poverty. Social Business and the Future of Capitalism

What Matters Now

Claude Hopkins My Life in Advertising

The Best Videos for me this year

How great leaders inspire actions

How to Live before you Die

How to Start a Movement

Al Gore on Averting Climate Crisis

What Adults Can Learn from Kids

Why I'm Rowing Across the Pacific

How Art Gives Shape to Cultural Change

Innovating to Zero

The Fringe Benefits of Failure

Success is a continious journey

The Best Discovery for me this year

Say NO to say YES!

The Best Weakness this year

Sleeping hours :)

The Best Strength this year

"Can Do" Attitude

The Best Moment this year

Every Single Moment I live

The Best Feature I love

An inner smile

Here I am closing my 1st life chapter of adventures, happiness, surprises, A-ha! moments, trips, friends, love, care, LIFE before entering a big nomadic country Kazakhstan. I am not planning to blog later for some time. There are some personal reasons and www.blogpost.com is banned in the country.

With love,

Assel

A vegetarian

Recently an inner voice told me, Hey, what about reducing meat in your nutrition and becoming more heathier? What about stop eating meat at all? 
Why not, I thought. 

So this is my plan: practice being a veg in the next 6 months. I am still eating meat - beef, lamb, chicken, pork, ( horse meat at home I believe ). However, I am thinking of trying another life- lighter, greener and healthier.

Coincidentally, I have watched this video today Graham Hill: Why I'm a weekday vegetarian | Video on TED.com and got more curious :) 

There are a couple of more things I desperately want to do this year. 

Excited! Dream planning starts and shall be accomplished in 2010! Woohoo! 

V-Log: My last year students

Last year when I was finishing my job at Kazakhstan International School, my 4th graders and I were preparing for their spring project "Home Journey. Migration" 

We studied different topics at our classes - Programme of Inquiry - and in the end were supposed to demonstrate what we discovered within  every 4 weeks of studies.

Do not judge this brief video- after all, these are 8 year old students, and this video means a lot for all of us. 

:)

V-Log: A few words from my MC team

Here is a a video of my team filmed in the Riga airport and in our MC flat before I left it. 

Just a few capturing moments, a few smiles and a few memories. 

xxx

May 20, 2010

Time to say Good Bye and Thank You

* AIESEC in Latvija: members, alumni, partners

* My Team: Jake and Liza

* My Baltic Colleagues

* Latvija as a country

* Lina

and many more people, places, things

We will stay in touch virtually of course.

Hopefully, we will see each other very soon!

Do What You Believe In. Believe In What You Do. { My Philospohy}

I'm Yours - Loving it!

Remedy

Most of you have probably experienced a situation when you are trying to catch time and do things you have not done before.

Last weekend I had spent exactly the way I like: not knowing what comes next and appreciating every single moment.

Here are a few of them:

Tallinn, Estonia

- Hitch-hike to Tallinn, Estonia to see a Nordic-Baltic country and spend some time with my dear Julian. Result: stereotypes about a beautifully warm country have been broken to pieces , have "travelled" for a short time to Latin America, danced bachata and salsa, sang karaoke in a Finnish bar in the Estonian language, met a great man that reminded me one of my best friends, stopped by in Parnu, South Estonia, and had a reliable partner to hitch-hike next time !

- For 1st time was not seeing and hearing news and celebration of 9th May. I was in Tallinn and was feeling strange.

- Celebrated a Bday of an AIESEC Estonia member in an Irish bar, I met a whole bunch of fantastic people. Among them were "old members" of AIESEC Estonia/Canada/Colombia/Turkey. After party was over, I realised that it was most likely to my home LC way: crazy, energetic, loud, lots of dances and songs, love and affection, emotions and feelings! Thank you, AIESEC Tallinn!

- Admired a member from Parnu town for his ideas and methods in running his own NGO. That's what happens when you gain soft and hard leadership skills, and implement them straight ahead.

- Loved Estonia!

Present Future

Today, going to the city centre, I had a new look out of a bus window. Last few days I've been a "vegetable" - this label I have put on myself due to being lazy/sleepy/wondering around about sometning and nothing in particular. A shame, I know.

However, when today I as usual spent about 30mins on the bus I had two questions on my mind. First, what is the future of leadership? Second, why people, being aware of high effectiveness in self management and practising good habits, stay ineffective and procrastination becomes their first choice on some days? To be more precise, 2nd question is more personal.

Before typing your thoughts I would like to share with you one interesting podcast "Democracy in the Workplace"

Now, let's put our thoughts on:

- Future of Leadership in private sector/ public sector/ personal lives/ education/etc ( choose your topic )

- How Procrastination can be beneficial to your individual growth?

Waiting to hear your thoughts ( either here or in inbox )

Assel

Yes

Modern Kazakhstan: how does it look like?

Annualy, May 1st is celebrated as a Day of Peoples Unanimity in Kazakhstan. It is a beginning of long May holidays bringing happiness, commemoration to Motherland protectors - USSR - May 9th, and time to highlight once again multi-ethnic harmony in the Republic.

A few days ago, the Kazakhstani Government has declared a new Doctrine of National Unity. When I heard about it my initial reaction was , Oh, The Assembly of People of Kazakhstan fosters their actions to strengthen their presence and continue uniting the nations and nationalities in the Republic. Obviously, this Body is now gaining its significance in the region of Central Asia and should represent ALL voices of people living in the country not only to prove its status and trust it has earned throughout the years, but also to influence the stabilization of solving regional questions.

However, my understanding of the Official Document has been re-considered today.

Let me give you a few insights.

Firstly, as I am now collecting a picture of a modern Kazakhstan I have been asking myself: What are the values of a present Kazakhstani person? What are they comprised of? What local youth today is interested in in the world, in their own community that leads to development and harmony? How has local population been affected with recent disturbances, riots and murders in Kyrgyzstan? What actions do people in general take towards eliminating natural disasters that have increased this year in the state?

My thoughts have echoed in one of the articles I have come across today. The article published in Russian called Modern Kazakhs: consciousness, values, installations ( I doubt in linguistical correctness of the latter ) discusses today's Kazakh persons and their differences. The difference is not only in geographical aspect, but also in cultural, information, language, social, economic fields. The questions raised are also about long term development of Kazakhstan: who are these people that will lead the country to its sustainable development? What role do they play in a society today?

Apparently, the article has surprised me a lot!!! It also correlates with a recent Doctrine I mentioned above. I am surprised to hear that the Document is interpreted as as an attack on ethnic Kazakh identity, language and culture (click on a link, and read another article EURASIA INSIGHT

KAZAKHSTAN: ASTANA FOLLOWS THORNY PATH TOWARD NATIONAL UNITY )

As it is mentioned in both sources, Kazakhs represent about 60% of population ( Population is about 15m people ), and that they, as a core ethnic group, are the ones that will lead the country to its prosperity, the ones that will keep forming national identity as well as activate and implement temporary technologies. Besides, there is a debate about Kazakhs living in the cities that are perceived as more literate, more civilised as opposed to country Kazakhs that do not possess a strong understanding of the world reality, and are not that much "civilised" as the city Kazakhs. Apart from that, there is another group of Kazakhs should be mentioned. One is internal migration of Kazakhs that look for better conditions to fulfill their basic needs, and another is external migration, Kazakhs in past and mixed Kazakh-Chinese-Mongolian people in present. What about them? And why Kazakhs as "the core ethnic group" should lead the country? What about other ethnic groups - Belorussians, Russians, Koreans, Caucasus, etc - aren't they an equal part of population that has the right and responsibility to a creation of an innovative personality in the Kazakhstani society? Don't they belong to ( qouting ) "the state-forming nation"

I tend to disagree that only Kazakhs as ethnic majority have a right and appropriate understanding of Patriotism for Kazakhstan. We,Kazakhs, have assimilated with other nations that we are a mishmash of cultural diversity today. Of course, there are still present pure Kazakh, Russian, German, Polish etc families with their views on life; but how can one call himself a 100% _______ nationality living in a multicultural world?

Patriotism is not only about your true national identity that gives you a "cultural" right to belong to this or that country. It is also about how you as an individual associate yourself with a place you live in and what you are committed to do wholeheartedly to make a difference, to shape a history and stay proud of the work you have done together with others.

I am proud I am from Kazakhstan; but I am also proud I am an international person.

Love in Life

These videos are absolutely meaningful ! Thank You Dey and Beautiful Individuals.

Why You Should Never Quit in Life

Feel Life in Different Ways

Winter Song

Beauty of Life

To Conclude:

A More Beautiful You

Enjoy Watching!

Assel