Bringing Peace to the World

I was a small kid and a big fan of Madeleine Albright. As a child, I could not conceive how heavy and burdening Political issues must have been for women to resolve. But I was always fascinated by these strong females that would wear dark suites, talk about some serious stuff and shake hands with men. Few "weak females" with lots of heavy set huge men...

No, I am not a feminist. I respect Adam and Eve.

I also respect when Eve (-s) spread their powers in multi- directions to make the world better. And we can combine both roles: a diplomat, a business woman, a waitress and a mother. It is not difficult at all when we get a supportive shoulder and love.

My Childhood

I was born in the Soviet Union. I grew up in an independent Kazakhstan. I am shaped by globalisation.

... But I had a priceless childhood! Thank you, my dear family and friends! ...

... I wish my children will have a very good childhood too...

Liberal Thinking

I have been surfing the net for a few videos related to Kazakhstan as I am re-discovering an image of the country I was born and raised in. Living abroad taught me one priceless lesson: Appreciation to your motherland strengthens day by day, and you are happy when people back home are happy; you are worried when people back home are worried.

One of the greatest lesson I absorbed during my teenager-hood was Focus and Unity among Kazakhstanis. Focus would be given from above and the citizenship would follow it. Individual thinking does exist, innovative thinking may prosper across the country but also is being killed because of hierarchical and bureaucratic systems. Unity is one of the national features among Kazakhstanis that sometimes is not valued and may not be witnessed from first sight. But believe me, Unity does fulfill the spirit veins of the Kazakhstanis. We have been nurturing Unity since 18th century if I am not mistaken - since the times of Ablay Khan.

Unity echoes as Equality for me. All men are born to be Equal. But not all men and women and children are Equal in our reality. I am not very religious. I am Muslim "by default" but I do not practice Islam. I respect any religion people believe in and follow. I respect Islam as well even though nowadays the religion is a victim and a weapon in hands of anyone who thinks he is the strongest and the most superior than the rest of the world.

When I used to live in Hyderabad, India I was looking for a peaceful place where my mind could relax from everyday noise. Some cities in India lack such places - infrastructure is not developed to the level of comforting people's lives. However, if you travel to remote villages and UNESCO heritage sites you will be amazed how calm and harmonious those places are. So, when I was about to leave Hyderabad I went sightseeing and visited Charminar, a four-minaret building. It used to serve as an original foundation of the city by Moguls in 17th century. Next to Charminar I saw an amazingly gorgeous noiseless grandiose mosque. I have been fascinated and of course I was eager to enter it, and spend some minutes in peacefulness. I felt that at last I found what I looked for. However, my thoughts and desire were destroyed by a sharp men's voice who said I was not allowed inside the mosque... because I was a woman...

I have never experienced such burning questions, emotions, thoughts before as I had that minute. When I asked "Why?" and said "It's OK in my country" ( this thought came to my mind so fast and so naturally), the man replied " Because you are in my country. And you have to behave according to our rules" My attention was caught. I felt disgrace. I felt I was not equal to the Men just because I am a Woman...

Below is a video that made me proud I am Muslim.

I still believe all people are Equal and all people have the rights to be happy.

An Unquestionable Question

A paradox of my life: I tend to look for challenges and I do not get them. This is what occupies my mind: I do not have challenges. Then I ask myself: What is a challenge for you? How do you define it? Does it have a taste? A smell? A sound?

If to follow Wikipedia, " A challenge is a general term referring to things that are imbued with a sense of difficulty and victory " Cool, it's said and done: So I have a difficult task ahead, I analyse it or I design it as if it did not exist, and I get solutions. This is one approach. There are lots more that I could use. However, it is not important now. What is important is that I do not get satisfied by "challenges" I am faced. My point here is that even if I see a complicated task in front of me, I know how to solve it. Or I sense that I know. This feeling gives me not just a sense of confidence. It relaxes my mind. It does not make me think. It plays hide and seek with myself. To be honest, it is pretty much annoying.

OK, then I ask myself: if you do not get satisfied by those difficulties because you "know" how to make those victories to happen, then what do you want? Do you necessarily need to experience a feeling of a Challenge? What will it bring to you? How will it change you? What will it lead you to? ...

And then I comprehend another sense: I cannot feel FEARS. Even now looking at this typed word "FEARS" I am relaxed ( as a point of reference: it is not recommended to type words in upper case as it may signal a shout for a receiver of one's message ). So, about FEARS: what are they? What type of fears do we have? Why do we experience fears?

I have thought of FEARS for some time, and I understood the following for myself:

- An absence of FEARS for a few years led me to the way I am today: Dissatisfied because I do not see a real challenge for myself, i.e. where I won't be able to figure out a solution. It consequently causes a

- FAILURE, a personal FAILURE. However, I reckon you need to experience and embrace FAILURE when it happens to you as it builds a stronger personality. Failure functions as a spice, it enriches your personality with tastes, smells, cluttered speeches, confusion, frustration... What results in the end is up to you: you either win or you lose. I accept FEARS and FAILURE as a great

- MOTIVATOR. A few months ago I have experienced a Leadership Failure with another person. In the beginning, it drove me nuts. I was confused, I rejected everything and everyone. But then I asked myself a few really essential questions. Yes, it was hard to accept personally the feedback I have drown for myself, but I accepted it. I accepted Leadership Failures. I understood it was one of my FEARS. However, the FEARS were not BIG ( But I did learn it myself! Yay! )

So FFM formula concluded my thoughts last week on a following note: Girl, do not complicate things. No fears? Great! A room for Failures? Awesome, learn from it! Motivation? Do take an advantage of it!

So I sketched a plain puzzle of my next few things - from 5 to 10 - that I am continuing to pursue. In Sep 2010 to Dec 2010 I promised I would achieve at least 80% out of 10 things in 100 days. Yeaaaah, I did achieve... 65% ... Way to go!

10 things planned vs achieved from Sep to Dec 2010:

- Learn how to play a guitar - in process

- Learn Spanish - did not take any solo class. Starting again.

- Improve Public Speaking - attended Toastmaster's Club in Hyderabad in Nov-Dec 2010. Joining the club in Chennai in Feb 2011.

- Read 10 quality books - Done. The list is displayed in my linkedin profile

- Visit at least 5 new places and get AWE- inspired - Done. I have been to Pattadakal, Badami, Aihole in Karnataka state, Goa, Palolem beach, Jaipur ( Rajasthan state) and Delhi ( the capital city of India ), Chennai and Konchiparam, Tamil Nadu state.

- Learn Salsa - zero progress.

- Learn French - zero progress.

- Lead a Global Support Team (GST) in Talent Management area, AIESEC - Achieved! I work with 5 great personalities!

- Implement at least one educational or research oriented sub project within GST for sustainable operations - Achieved together with the team! ( Our team plays around Competency Model (CM )in AIESEC. CM is bread and butter of highly successful enterprises nowadays. However, corporate world still cannot figure out what it is and what ingredients to add when you prepare it for your workforce. )

- Deliver either a business training or facilitate a workshop/AIESEC conference - Achieved! In Dec I delivered a training on Cultural Sensitivity for science college graduates within company premises.

Not bad. I can do better. You ask me "Do I need it?" I will reply "Why Not?"

Motivator. There are a few BOLD things I want to do in life. "I want" , not "I plan". These are:

- Family: taking care of my parents and my brother. Start my own family when the time comes.

- Travels: Independently, with friends, with my family members. I want to travel to at least 100 countries before I die. ( Here is a trick: I do not fix an age when I shall visit 100 countries. Death is inevitable, therefore let's do first things first!)

- Dear passionate job: My country is in need of entrepreneurs, AIESEC taught me how to be an entrepreneur, and I realise how much it is valuable for the society and for building a firm self esteem to drive entrepreneurship within yourself. So I will have my own business in the nearest future.

- UN: I have a tremendous willingness to spend some time working for the United Nations and develop the Talents across the world, Improve Education Systems.

- Audacious Individuals: I want to meet and work with people whom I admire ( apart from my smart friends all across the globe, there is a small bunch people with whom I would like to collaborate on different projects ) For instance, these are Batyrkhan Shukenov, Ken Robinson, De Bono, Bono U2 solo, Michael Duglas, etc.

- Intercultural Communication. Management: I want to live in every continent before I settle down mentally and physically back home in Kazakhstan. Yes, I am a big patriot of my country.

- Oceans, Swimming as a hobby: I want to have memories of the Pacific and the Atlantic oceans on my skin.

- A book: I want to write a book (-s ? ) about different matters that are important in life. Family, for example. Or living abroad.

- I will come with more when it is the right time for them ( the so called aspirational goals ) to appear.

Conclusion: I do need to have a lack of FEARS in my life as they show me what I really want in life.

Opening Ceremony of 7th Winter Asian Games in Astana, Kazakhstan, 2011

Feel Proud and I love my country!

Menin Elim, menin Kazakhstanym!

Honeymoon

"Well, I am glad to hear you are doing great. I can hear it in your voice. And your pictures - well, they tell everything about you now. You love your life in India ..."

Well, yes, I love my life. Anywhere in the world. In India I found another meaning of life. I assume I will find more meanings of life and love while my staying here.

I don't know what to begin with. I have spent 6 1/2 months in India, and I don't know how many months I will spend more. I don't want to measure my life by days or months. Simply because at one point I do not measure it. Or sometimes, there are some breathtaking moments I encounter that make my life brighter, stronger, tougher, full of compassion and love...

Compassion. Last weekend I spent in Trivandrum, Kerala. It is in the very south in India. As soon as I got off from a plane I felt a high level of humidity and I smiled. This is that India I have discovered first time for myself when I was on a vacation 2 years back. Humid noisy colourful spicy India. I fell in love with it that time. That is why I decided to come back. I did not know that time what real India is. I do not know it even now after regular travels I keep going to, after working with Indian people in one of the leading IT companies, after researching the country ...

I have discovered a very compassionate India for myself. I am learning how I can be compassionate. It is sometimes hard. It is sometimes painful. It is sometimes graceful. Fearless. Tearing apart. Putting me down on my knees. But at the end of a day I know I need to stand up and keep walking. I know I can give a hand to those around me. Even when it feels uncomfortable. Even when I am about to cry. And then I feel as if I have cried out all my tears in the beginning of my Indian journey...

It is my Honeymoon in India. It is time when I am absolutely in LOVE with India.

Resistance

... It is neither wrong nor right... What happens is the right thing to happen...