Not long time ago I finally started to coach three bright individuals in my home Local Committee AIESEC Almaty. We were supposed to start working earlier but due to my long time sickness (which almost lasted up to three months) we had to wait for a while. Nevertheless, I was eager to see them, and they were counting days and hours to our first meeting. Let me introduce them to you- they are not fresh AIESECers but have joined our leadership organization in autumn 2008: Polina, Elina and Anara.

March 8, 2009 was our first meeting with Polina. This day is recognized in Kazakhstan ( as well as in CIS) as an International Women's Day. Moreover, on this special day I had my elections to AIESEC in Latvia for the year 2009-2010. I had decided to switch myself to something different on that day, and called up for a coaching meeting in ... the mountains! Sounds unusual for such case? Well, winter was almost and I thought I would've felt sad if I hadn't used this oppportunity to have an incredible time in the nature, and get to know my friend better, have great time and end enjoy life. So, right in the morning at 9 o'clocl we got on the bus and trusted the driver. Inspiration had been already grown in both of us, and we were smiling to the whitest trees behind the bus's windows...

I will never forget my first feelings towards my coachee, thoughts I have been going through, stories we have shared with each other, and the feeling of unity, of being as one common cell within one body. I guess it happens very seldom when you can experience something similar and even more. I am sure it doesn' t happen to random people with random feelings. It may not even happen when you know a person for a hundred of years. It doesn't happen until you feel you can trust this person and you know this person trusts you...

Polina has made that day unforgettable! I have even forgotten I was to have an interview and Questions and answers in the evening during my election proces!!! However, I have shared that with Polina later on. I have not discussed this topic with a lot of people, just let's say with key people who could help me in some points. As it may seem clear, feeling of unity and trust is very important for me, and time of friendship sometimes isn't a significant factor to share my soul with the surroundings. So, by the time I was to be home, Polina got to know about my next steps in AIESEC, as we were discussing this question with her a lot that day. She got surprised but also I remember her facial expressions when she heard this news. She started to be inquisitive, and I really like people asking questions. Right questions. Or even not right questions but questions that are either relevant or questions that bring benefits somehow. So, we discussed different points of view, shared some personal moments, our views on life, actions we wanna take in life and in AIESEC... I have talked to Polina the way I didn't talk to my close friends for a long time. The way I didn't talk to friends in general for the past several months. It happens in life when you get disappointed and feel exhausted from stupid actions you thought you would never seen from your friends. And then you don't trust them or anyone else around you. And it may take you days,months or even years to change your opinion. However, all people are different and you have no right to judge the book by its cover. Treat people the way you want to be treated- this is what my mother has always taught me. And I truly believe in this, and try following it. Of course, it is not easy, but I am trying. And this philosophy I had shared with my schol students. I have not taught them, I have shared, given examples, made them think about the world as one heart that evokes in different parts and climate zones...

So, in late afternoon we had come back home, completely tired but happy, energized, full of new ideas and feelings. We had come back home with planned actions for 1st week, till our next meeting. I had come home fresh, driven by snow and love.Love to people, love to nature, love to life.



...I am in love and always will be

Hunger

Getting crazy about the Twilight saga by S.Meyer these days. I have already read Twilight, New Moon, and am awaiting for Eclipse and Breaking Dawn to start.
... An author makes me live characters' emotions so lively and vividly that I can immediately cry, I can laugh like mad, and I cherish every moment I spend while living together with Bella Swan and Edward Cullen.

I got two other books I will read soon- Built to Last and Good to Great by Jim Callins.
I read Charlotte's Web by E.B. White and Pippi Longstocking by A. Lindgren together with my 4 graders.
I am going to make soon a short drama based on some ancient Egypt/Rome/China/India (haven't chosen yet) times with my students- Human migration is our topic for the following 6 weeks. So I've a plenty of interesting activities to do ;)

Yes, getting hungry day by day ;)

2009 has come and it's right time to perform!!!

Ufff! Finally 2009 knocked on world's doors and finally I have a few minutes to refresh my long-awaited blog ;)
Well, it's only the first 2 weeks of 2009, but the world has already suffered, and it seems that people are not getting energized, are unhappy in a way, are gloomy... Which cannot upset themselves and a surrounding environment. Which whispers that the world, OR people, are incorrect in their thoughts, words, decisions, actions and characters... Which still gives me a hope A Dooms day isn't about to come :(
However, let's be more optimistic- the more gloomy you are, the more negative currents you see around. Or another way around- the more happier you are, the more world shines for you and your surrounding. I usually prefer not to blog about holistic problems or present world financial crisis, so I'll omit these topics in this post as well. Because you can always refer to them at popular news websites- I'm sure you've bookmarked them in your gmail account or so ;)

2009, Ox year, or simply- it is my year. Another 12 year cycle. Another life opportunity for Bulls to rock a house. Believe it or not, but I DO BELIEVE in these superstitious thins like years and their meanings, star signs and stuff. So most probably that's why I'm so eXcited about 2009 HOT PERFORMANCES I wanna do this year. One of them is already coming soon. Every day I fell in love with AIESEC life sip by sip, step by step, breath by breath. I miss my AIESEC friends, I miss AIESEC spirit when I'm away from people who make it so ( though I can myself do it :), I miss life. But then I ask- "How can you miss life if you are supposed to live,actually???" Obviously, answers then start booming my head, and I smile. I smile and I feel I'm back. I've returned my lifestyle, I've found myself, I'm stepping new life paths and wondering what other ways there are...

I have applied for MC AIESEC in Kazakhstan, and in a few weeks am having 2nd NatCo. I have a great bunch of people who have also applied, and I'm getiing happier and more excited every day by thinking what amazing people have applied for MC AIESEC in Kazakhstan for 2009-2010!!! People who want to live their life and let others be a part of it, and make others' lives much brighter and ful in terms of XP, in terms of professionalism and in terms of responsibility for their own actions. People, who marked their personalities in hearts of AIESEC Kazakhstan members.

* We gonna make NatCo 2009 happen*

Harmony and my students

Life is funny. It's hilarious, it plays with you whenever it wants and brings different results. Different- in a way how you perceive them. For instance, a simple and well-known example is: there's a water cup. It's half full. So, you are either upset it's only half of water or contentment with its half-full capacity. So, you choose what cup you see in front of you.
Just recently I was broken down. So many unpleasant (as I thought) things were going to and fro in my life. I had to fight for everything I had had before. It includes so many personal feelings as well. And I used to claim my rights, I used to be so dissatisfied and be just gloomy. Gosh, a few days ago I realized it's not me. Hopefully I'm getting on a right track. I'm getting excited about cold sunrises and warm cups of tea in the mornings, about a familiar melody I hear; about people I'm in touch with, every second I think just about people.

People- is a broad and wonderful notion. Every one of us has his own stewardship of himself and of others. Every one is so unique and still we are all alike each other in a few points. I just wonder and get excited all the time how much we can resemble to each one of us and how much we are different within ourselves.

The time I notice real people- not just human beings who live their daily routine and complain but real ones- in a sense that they are bright and incredible! - I can't pass them. I need to be in touch with them, I need to see their shiny eyes, I need to hear their voice and laughter! This really energizes and supports me a lot in my day-to -day activities. That is why, probably, I love my teaching. I can see TRUE PEOPLE- PEOPLE of PRESENT, PEOPLE of FUTURE but PAST. I can see how students are changing the world around. They teach me not actually realizing it. They have made me so much patient, so much caring and responsible for any action I am taking daily. For instance, we are having winter exams this week. According to International Baccalaureate, Primary Years Programme we are implementing this year, exams are no longer exams in a traditional understanding. It is called summative assessment and one of the assessment activities I have offered to my 4 graders is to do a research on water quality standards and how people measure them. Or have them work on forest topic; today we were walking around school campus and analyzing why we have so many maples, poplars or pines and other conifers but no palms. Or another group researches what types of soil are there, and what types of it are typical, for Kazakhstan in particular. So what do you think I should feel after three 40 minute classes I spent today with them on Natural resources project?

I feel proud. And safe for these open-minded citizens of a vulnerable world tomorrow.

Welcoming back home

Who has recently overcome a personal growth or a failure? How did it feel? What were the reasons and consequences? What are your next steps:to continue the previous life path or to break out of the mould???

It' s difficult to admit, even to yourself, but just recently I have seen a big failure of a shining girl to a numb indifferent person. The scene was unbelievable for my eyes. The emotions I have experienced were terrible. She has changed dramatically and I thought I would never see her coming back. In fact, it could have been so if...

I never liked "If statements" in my life. I was always struggling for something big and interesting in my life. I used to be called "a smiley girl", a person who can always support, at least with a deep warm and careful smile. But somehow things changed in my life. I don't really know what's happening and what was before, but reality has made me be another person. Not here, not responsive, not lively as I was before. A dead person...

A case happened a few days ago with me made me realize I'm not me. I'm not even present in this world. I don't live a life I used to live. "A life" meaning "a wonderful life", "a life" meaning "give-and-take", "a life" meaning "a life devoted to yourself and others", my life... I cried a whole day, I even broke my relationships with a few people, I turned off myself. But as hard times as they can be, they form a new sharp and firm shank.

I'm hopefully looking forward to searching for myself and finding myself. It's a difficult time but I'll manage. I never want to say to myself that if I am afraid to fight for something, I won't do it. Because I dislike "If statements"

Zebra

Bright summer, slowdown in the beginning of fall, gray fall, excitement before ENERGY, peace and joy at ENERGY, emptiness after Riga, being lost and found... what else am i supposed to go through?

DLD

Development Leadership Day has recently finished. A day which brought a lot of emotions before, during the project and after.
I was thinking to apply for OCP DLD in June 08. Well , actually I wasn't just thinking to apply. I already saw myself doing it. I was dreaming what it'd look like, what content of it must be, what I want to achieve through it. And if it even sounds ridiculous I was sure I'd be doing it. In other words, I wasn't scared/nervous/shaking before and while OCP elections. =)
Strange feelings. It doesn't happen to me often when I'm 200% confident I'd be doing some job. I was very sure I'd be accepted as an AIESEC member a year ago, I was sure in other activities with my participation. But in other life activitites I'm sometimes not so confident. Better to say, I don't see myself doing this or that. On the contrary, ProMS in Omsk gave me an ambiguous feeling. I knew I wouldn't be taken into a FACI team, but I was licking my lips waiting for the FACI team announcement. Because I knew I'd be there anyway. And now, I had experienced almost the same anticipations and emotions after I heard I am in a cool FACI team at ENERGY 08 in Latvia.

An idea of a FACI at ENERGY came to me in Aug, I guess, when I saw it in myaiesec.net. I was strongly motivated for that but I was in doubt whether I manage it or not. Of course, first answer was "NO!". You wonder why? I say my job, my school. I can't just go to a conference in the middle of the year and leave my students. But Latvia was knocking on my doors everyday and desire had increased so much that I said, "Ok, let's try. Maybe I'd be able to work it out somehow." So I negotiated this question with my Director, ran for it, was nervous because of DLD, was mad because my laptop had broken down in the middle of filling in an application,was fined, lost my sleeping hours, was crazy because I had to study sloths, seahorses, matter and its features, why history and geography matter and how to explain that to 4 graders... Now it all seems funny but 2 1/2 weeks it was a big mess. A big mess with my attitude towards some people in my life and feeling extremely badly for that. It drives me nuts when I behave like I did last month. I'm working on it good enough but Moscow wasn't built in one day, you know. So it of course takes time.
So, about Latvia again. Baltic is coming to my life closer and closer. I'm a buddy for my first Latvian trainee who is an experienced AIESECer as well. Zane is a very nice girl. It's cool having her at home, spending with her dinner hours, waking her up sometimes, listening to her, working with her. I guess I'm having a very unique buddy time. Of course, it's again very personal life chance and interesting time. The first minutes she arrived at Almaty I started to change something within myself. A new look at people, at Almaty life, at people whom I work with. I'm glad Moldir, my old friend, our 3rd person in an apartment =) has found a common language with her. They are talking a lot, sharing different informaiton with each other and stuff. So I'm feeling this international spirit not only at school but at home as well =) I'm taking up some Latvian expressions, she's taking up Kazakh. AIESEC Almaty people are saying I'm lucky having her in my life. I reply "It depends on a person- the better a buddy is, the cooler intern you get" =D

Fall came to Almaty. My favourite season. The only time I love in Almaty is fall. It shows me the beauty of the town, brings me so many positive and tender emotions and ideas, warms me up when it's getting cold in my soul. Besides, autumn used to be my gray time. I am used to be falling into depression very easily in autumn. Last year I experienced totally different time- I was not in a grey time at all. This year on the contrary I am feeling a bit lost. I really want to have some very specific things done in my life but somehow I'm convincing myself I won't be having them for some time. Why??? I can't understnad why. I mean I do understand but I'm under some aprobation time, I think. So let's see if my ideas, beliefs and thoughts will change in the nearest future.

...back in God's hands