Disorder

Life is funny. The ones you desperately want to be with are not yours. On the other side of a coin, there are those who want to be with you but you do not want them. To add more, there are those who say they will go with you anywhere... anywhere... as long as you are close... and it leaves you confused... as you do not know what to believe in...

Wherever you will go... Hm... I am not yours and it is OK. It will be OK.

THE Marathon

If you want to win something, run the 100 metres.

If you want to learn something about life, run the marathon.

- Emil Zatopek

16.04.2011

A simple truth of life

I don't need all the money in the world to be happy.

I need something more... Deeper... I have understood what it is... And I am creating it when I really want to be happy or when I want to make somebody happy... You do not need to ask for it...

PS Loving my life every day. No matter how far away we are all from each other.

No pains - no gains

A thought popped out in my mind: I want to quickly document this very moment:

It is March 22nd, 2011, 1.35am. I am sitting in our living room of a two-room apartment I share with 3 interns from Ghana, Mexico and the UK. It is my 6th permanent flat I occupy in India since July 2010 when I started my Indian journey. The people I have shared a living space with, my past and my future projections, my dreams and my questions... It is a very intense learning day to day experience that is being created by so many hands...

I am listening to bits of Eminem rapping in my laptop, listening to the fan's noise that keeps me cool in this humid +37C weather of Chennai city, covering my legs with a blanket from annoying mosquitoes... And I catch myself at another thought: I am away from home on this very day when we celebrate Nauryz - the Persian New Year or the Kazakh or the Kazakhstani New Year ( google it if you are interested ).

Where was I on March 22nd in different years and what I missed/gained?

• 2005, I am in Kyrgyzstan, Central Asia - Missed celebration of Nauryz with my student mates and free university lunches :D Learnt how Kyrgyz people celebrate Navruz- they cook beshbarmak making noodles instead of a whole dough divided in square pieces as Kazakhstanis do, and they celebrate it on March 21st. By the way, I have tasted Kyrgyz beshbarmak with people from Slovakia, from the Caucasus region, from the Czech Republic, from Kazakhstan. Not an AIESEC event :)
• 2009, I am in Romania at an International AIESEC Conference EuroXpro- 5am, Salta and I are sitting in the hotel lobby, thinking of a Nauryz video content to display at the morning plenary for 200+ delegates from Central/Eastern/Western Europe. We understand how much we miss home and we are happy we had a quick skype chat with our relatives while making the video. The images from that morning are still so vivid! Unbelievable!
• 2010, I am in Latvia, cooking baursaki in our MC flat for the team mates. It is an early morning, and I feel excited about the New Year concept in general. I am planning to call home to hear my Mum, my family. I miss them and I am happy as well I can be exposed to other cultures to appreciate and share.
• 2011, I am in Chennai, South India, listening to Eminem, designing ideas for the next AIESEC conference in Sri Lanka. Incredibly missing my family, my brother, wanting to be with them now to hug every family member, to see and hear them speaking... To see the spring in my hometowns... To celebrate Nauryz with every one like I celebrated Holi yesterday in Hyderabad - with loads of laugh, hugs, fun, pictures, posing, fooling around...

Life Appreciation

Intense life in Chennai...

A lot of learnings and findings...

A strong need to reflect and document these findings...

A little time to take an action... Or not?

Incredibly Missing my friends, my interns' family in Hyderabad...

Visiting them this weekend to celebrate Holi - a colourful Indian holiday, which is not celebrated in Tamil Nadu state ( where I live now ) ...

AIESEC re-connections soon...

Realised that I am not doing my best or even going beyond it...

Strongly missing exceptional somebody who is somewhere doing something extraordinary...

Missing our times together...

Always keeping my family in my heart...

Loving my job and people I interact with on a daily basis...

Re-shaping personality process...

Re-loading believes, values, emotions, experiences to understand where to go next...

Understood that the bars of excellence have vanished...

Thinking of what legacy we have left last year as an MC team of AIESEC in Latvia...

Curious of what has remained in me as a Kazakhstani...

Is it true that we are Global Citizens as soon as we are not associating ourselves with our homelands, as soon as borders of "I" or "My" do not exist, as soon as we are thinking globally...

This is me these days. A bit exhausting path some days but I love it!

My Past and My Present

What to say ...

I am simply loving my past ... and my present ...

Bringing Peace to the World

I was a small kid and a big fan of Madeleine Albright. As a child, I could not conceive how heavy and burdening Political issues must have been for women to resolve. But I was always fascinated by these strong females that would wear dark suites, talk about some serious stuff and shake hands with men. Few "weak females" with lots of heavy set huge men...

No, I am not a feminist. I respect Adam and Eve.

I also respect when Eve (-s) spread their powers in multi- directions to make the world better. And we can combine both roles: a diplomat, a business woman, a waitress and a mother. It is not difficult at all when we get a supportive shoulder and love.